STRESS!!!!!!!!!

Ok remember last week was stressful, nothing on this week. My beloved Bear who can never do things by halves came down on Sunday evening telling us "My stomach really hurts and it hurts to breathe in" So off we trot to St Helier. After an interminable wait and me wanting to run up to the nearest Doctor and yell we finally got seen.

After lots of prodding he declared he needed Blood Tests. Look of horror from Bear matched by mine who knows how much she hates things like this. Ok 2 attempts later with much prodding with a needle and me trying to comfort a distressed child he tells us he's going to ask his colleague in to try and see if she can do it. Eureka she gets it first time and I am reminded of 11 years ago when Bear was born and had endless blood tests.

Back then I was asked to leave the room as my Baby screaming the ward down had a negative effect on me. Cue Def Leppard at top volume playing "Bringing on the Heartbreak" in my ears. They didn't ask me to leave this time so in 11 years my self control has obviously improved.

They advise me they need to keep her in overnight to run more tests no problem....ok maybe one I have Chris's Car in the car park and he needs it Monday morning. My lovely Dizzy who came to my rescue hooked her Hubby out of bed to go get Chris to bring him up to the hospital to get the car. Ok job done on to the ward.

They were kind enough to have a foldaway bed set up in Bear's room for me. It's not really designed for a 6ft frame but hey needs must and all that. A screaming distressed child on the main ward ensured none of us got any sleep.

The staff at St Helier were wonderful very kind and gentle and made our stay much easier. So after a lot more prodding more tests they diagnosed an inflamed Bowel which can be treated by Gaviscon. They also said she could come home as long as I kept up the pain relief at home.

So here we are at home and my diet got a much needed boost that between 6pm Sunday and 6pm Monday all I had was a Banana and a Cup a Soup. If I don't lose this week I will be stressed.

Thanks once again to my lovely friends who offered support and love throughout that very long night. For some of my friends a sick child in Hospital is part of everyday life. I have so much respect for you doing all of that long term and supporting the rest of the family. You are amazing and I am awed by what you all do day in day out.

Laters......... X X

Now How Did That Happen

Another 4 1/2 lbs off

This week was not a good week. The bad news about Ian really pole axed me and I spent all weekend trying not to give in and binge on junk food. I am very lucky I have such amazing friends and that certainly helped me no end. The situation with Ian is a long term thing and I can't keep hitting the junk every time things get rough.

So I stuck to my guns and didn't give in so I got a great result this week. So 9lbs lost and 5 off hitting the 1 stone mark. Having friends along for the ride really helps my lovely friend Dawn who encourages me almost every day with phone calls, Texts and when we meet up I would be lost without her. The lovely Sue who is a slimming world newbie too. Along with Spevvie who got us all hooked on this slimming lark.

To my super friends online who are a constant source of encouragement as well as my closer family who I can always depend on. To you all I want to say Thank You so much. You have all helped so much.

X X X X

Laters..........

Stressed.......ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah.

Stress could well be my middle name events of the last couple of years have meant I have been at times in a permanent state of stress. With Chris and the kids bearing the brunt of it. This weekend I got a very painful reminder that with Cancer you can never truly rest on your laurels.

Usually this is a major trigger point for me and no amount of good intentions will sway me.  As always when my world goes belly up I have my friends. This weekend I received the most major amounts of support and love from many of my friends. I got lots of very good helpful advice, offers of weekend away Jax I am so there love would love to see you. So I thought with the faith my friends have in me I am not going to let them down. So no eating frenzy began I did at times have to fight it hard but I didn't give in.

I am an emotional eater probably always will be but now with what I know and what I am finding out I am not giving in. So I am heading off to the Gym to pound out some of my stress on a treadmill. To my lovely friends thank you so very much for being there for me. Love you all so much. X X

Laters.........

Oh Yeah!!!!!!!!

Well made it!! one week down about a million more to go. But we hit it time to see if all the choices I made this week made a difference. It did make a difference I lost 4 1/2 lbs. So living proof the diet does work whoopee doo.

The major difference I have felt is in me. Earlier this week I was feeling really hacked by the actions of others and feeling ignored etc..... usually this is the fastest way to get me to indulge big time in something chocolaty. But I didn't I texted my lovely friend Dawn and had a whinge and she came back with her usual pearls of wisdom. And I thought blow it I am not ruining my first week due to the actions of others so I didn't and felt so much better because of it.

So we hit another week and I am just going to carry on doing what I have been doing this week and heading for the Gym as well. This seems to be a good pattern to follow and i'm going to do it. So in the scheme of things 4 1/2 is not record changing but for me it is big. It is the start of something really good.

So my lovely friends

Laters............

Breakfast

Really don't do Breakfast unless it's a bacon fry up the day after a concert or after drinking lots the night before and you need to soak up the alcohol.

Of course when you're dieting you can't indulge in the Fry Ups and yet you can't skip it either co's you know by 10.30 you'll be starving and the temptation to dive in the Chocolate Chip Cookies will be strong. Thank heavens for Porridge it fills you up to capacity and is a great way to have something stodgy and yet healthy too.

Yesterday first huge temptation took Mum to Costa in Tesco's It was a last minute idea so in I walk I phone in hand logging into the slimming world app. It tells you about SYNS (Treats to you and me) and how many are in lots of different foods especially mainstream food and drink shops. So I make the discovery that a small skinny latte is only 4 1/2 Syns YES!!!!!!

I am allowed up to 15 a day but they recommend 10 so yes I can have this. Syns are an interesting concept and a tin of Heinz Tomato Soup is 11  where a shot of Baileys is 5/12. Ok so lets think which one am I going to go for. Well as I have no idea what a single measure of Baileys looks like i'll make it a double and not think about the soup.

So far everything has been going well I've stopped drinking full fat Coke and switched to Diet as it's on my free food list. I know it sounds cliched but i really haven't been hungry and now I know that keeping busy stops me eating I have been running round like mad. Even made it to the Gym this morning 30 minute workout followed by a leisurely swim. made all the nicer as I had a lane to myself.

So gearing up now for weigh in on Thursday I really hope it goes well I don't want to be a martyr but I have been good and I so want a good result. We shall see.

laters..........

BOREDOM!!!!!

 is going to be my biggest enemy.

Ok I don't usually get bored my family usually ensure i'm running round like mad for most of the days.
Weekends are different because Neil is home I get to spend some very much needed time with Chris and the kids. I get that rare treat of parking my bottom in front of the TV for an hour or two. That for me is fatal usually that's the time I dive into the odd chocolate chip cookie or 3 but I can't do that now. Bananas and fruit are lovely but they just don't match up when your brain is fixated on something sweet and covered in chocolate.

I'm not hungry but my brain is telling me you've parked your bottom why are you not stuffing down the Biccies. So this week is going to be spent trying to shut my brain up. Ok so yesterday had a stonking day went to the Gym and did my usual workout then hit the swimming pool for a while to swim. Coming out munching down my Banana trying not to feel smug and virtuous at lots of exercise and swimming not to mention the healthy eating. Diet and exercise hah it's a breeze...........................................

2 HOURS LATER

Owwww blinkin Owch I can't move my legs.....................................

Yep I am being paid back for being smug i'm in torment and my legs have gone to jelly. Ok so swimming and the Gym may not be a wise move. The rest of the day is spent with me fighting the urge to curl up and sleep on the sofa. So i do the unthinkable I chuck a load of stuff that I really don't need anymore from my bedroom.

So thus endeth the first lesson.

Tidying up makes you feel better when it looks lovely, Exercise is good just don't go nuts like I did and this dieting lark would be easy if I could just switch my brain off.

Laters.............

HOW MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok how to lose weight really quickly. Don't eat because you really can't afford to.

Ok that's extreme but going on a diet is expensive. Loads of fresh fruit and veg and lean meats are more expensive.

I confess I have cheated already...............

No don't come and slap me Dawn not cheated in that sense. I went to M & S today and they have a lovely range called Fuller for Longer really yummy dinners which taste wonderful and do fill you up. No like that bad old days of Lean Cusines where you ate the most revolting muck just because you got 5g more food than your favourite in the hope it would fill you up.....Yeah right it didn't.

So I got 2 of those dinners. Hint....The Thai Red Chicken is divine.

But this comes at a cost so I am going to have to revert back some 28 years back to the good old days at being 16 and off to Catering College. I am going to have to cook, That's fine I love to cook. Tonight is going to be a Lemon and Thyme Chicken roasted in a smidge of Garlic Infused Olive Oil. served with veggies and new potatoes.

My only problem now is persuading my very fussy Daughter to eat it to. I guess the Chicken Dippers will have to be on standby just in case. Ok off to read my slimming world book they should have an edited edition for me co's it all looks a bit complicated. maybe I should dye my hair and go Brunette I might be a bit more intelligent then.

Laters..........

In the beginning there was.............

Me.


So here I am a soon to 44 year old Mum of 2. I can't possibly be hitting my mid 40's I still prop up barriers at Rock concerts, I go to Festivals I certainly do not feel old enough to be nearly 44. But I am and for me it's time to change I just can't do this anymore. 


I've always been the big girl, thank heavens for height, all 6 foot of it. But out trot the cliche's "You are tall it doesn't notice" or "You've always been big boned for your age" or the classic "Men like something to get hold of" Thank heavens my wonderful husband does indeed love me as I am, of course he does he's never seen me any other way. 


When we got married 17 years ago I wore a huge white meringue dress, so fashionable but not for a big girl. This year we are renewing our wedding vows I don't want a big meringue I want something pretty something that will look fabulous on me. I don't look fabulous I certainly don't feel it so time to change. Propped up by my good friends Dawn and Dia I venture into the world of Slimming World. Normally the name alone is enough to send me running for the Chocolate but not this time. If I want to look fabulous I have to walk in and just do it.


First meeting was great, if you ignore the weigh in, Lots of food to choose from and on paper it all seems so easy. I'm not stupid, despite being a Blonde. I know it's going to be tough and I will no doubt turn into a screaming miserable Harpie. But I want to do this for me, My hubby and my kids. So I will keep updating here for you all to know how i'm getting on by September I will have my fabulous dress and I will be the fabulous one inside it. 


Dawn will be round next week for the caviar. See you on the flip side.