Yes I know i've not posted anything for ages.
But for me thats a good thing because since the Vow Renewal we have been just ticking along getting on with every day life. I haven't felt the need to come on here and whitter on but here I am feeling the need to have a whitter.
Bear still continues to have issues with her bowel and fortunately she is due in next Wednesday for an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy to investigate the possibility of Inflamatory Bowel Disease. She is quite reconciled to all this testing and fortunately she is being knocked out so they can have a good old look round. She takes a pragmatic approach to all this knowing this is a necessary evil to go through for a positive eventual outcome.
Dan is gearing up to view Universities he still doesn't see the need because it's not like you need a degree in Rock Star. But then the music industry is a fickle mistress and a boy needs to earn a wage so Music production is the second alternative and for that he does need a degree. Hence all the Uni visits over the next couple of months. He is more into the Rock vibe now declaring that black hair is passé and Electric Blue is the way to go and what isn't blue is going to be shaved. I'm not sure what the eventual look will be just watch this space.
So as always whenever my life is in danger of becoming ordinary even, dare I say it, a bit boring my Mother throws a spanner in the mix. A long term diabetic her little toe has become ulcerated, a very fast referral to the Hospital showed us how very bad it is. Terms like pre gangrenous and infected, cellulitis and toe amputation does nothing to help my mothers nerves and consequentially affects mine. I'd love to be able to say she's been calm and cooperative but I cant ;-)
Her passionate, vehement dislike of Hospitals. Which after what Ian and Dad went through I can at least understand. Has led to some spectacular rows, tantrums and tears. Neil and Roy cannot deal with my mother like this so it comes to me. Yes you are right there is a wicked case of Deuja Vue is coming on here.
But here's the thing after all the grief and sadness of looking after Ian and eventually mourning him has taught me to be much tougher and resilient. Yes I'm very stressed and worried about my Mum because at 86 she is vulnerable and I don't want to lose her so soon after losing Ian.
But that does not mean I am going to coddle her and at times tough love is the only way to get her to listen. St H is being absolutely phenomenal in their care of her and I'm hoping that after seeing the consultant on Friday a plan of action will be clearer and we know where we stand.
So here we all are another year another stress but I will fight this and just long for the day where my life gets back to normal, boring possibly but boring is good.
Peace and Love X X X
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
To Wed or not to Wed
Ok let me start this Blog post off with a note of caution.
I am not here to inflame those anti gay marriage this is just my thoughts and feelings on the vote yesterday.
So it got passed, the same sex marriage bill by 400 to 175 a big margin by anyones standards.
Since I was 18 the Bible has taught me that Homosexuality is wrong and for the last few weeks i've been told that same sex marriage is wrong. How do I reconcile myself to accepting this kind of teaching knowing that I have many friends and a family member who are homosexual.
Well the truth is I can't................
This will shock many of you for 27 years I have tried to be a good christian, I have failed often, but heartened by the fact that Jesus came to this world for the sinner. But when it comes to the happiness for people I love and care about then I cant do it.
My friends and my beloved Godchild I will support to the 11th degree in this everyone has a right to be happy with the partner they choose.
There are far far worse things going on in this world that we need to be concerned about and as we argue and debate the rights and wrongs of this bill then they are being forgotten.
I am not here to inflame those anti gay marriage this is just my thoughts and feelings on the vote yesterday.
So it got passed, the same sex marriage bill by 400 to 175 a big margin by anyones standards.
Since I was 18 the Bible has taught me that Homosexuality is wrong and for the last few weeks i've been told that same sex marriage is wrong. How do I reconcile myself to accepting this kind of teaching knowing that I have many friends and a family member who are homosexual.
Well the truth is I can't................
This will shock many of you for 27 years I have tried to be a good christian, I have failed often, but heartened by the fact that Jesus came to this world for the sinner. But when it comes to the happiness for people I love and care about then I cant do it.
My friends and my beloved Godchild I will support to the 11th degree in this everyone has a right to be happy with the partner they choose.
There are far far worse things going on in this world that we need to be concerned about and as we argue and debate the rights and wrongs of this bill then they are being forgotten.
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Just Brilliant
There are no other words to describe how good last Saturday was.
Well we finally made it after a year of planning and 9 months of dieting we got to our vow renewal day. The sun shone the reception was packed and I wasn't wearing a meringue.
We kicked off the weekend on the Friday where good friends helped us decorate the reception then out for a yummy meal at Coal. If you like your steaks mooing then this is the place to go. Despite the fact we hadn't seen each other for a year. The conversation never lapsed and the usual hilarity was in full force.
So after a lovely meal home to bed feeling stuffed and tired. 2 hours of sleep and I am wide awake the nerves in force and my brain going like the Duracell bunny on red bull. So I hit the sofa and watched a clockwork orange trust me after only 2 hours sleep I knew how Malcolm McDowell felt in the aversion therapy scene.
So finally at 6.15 I gave up trying to sleep and had a bath instead. The morning was spent in preparations grabbing the flowers for the reception moving guitars to the Church and then finally for myself and Bear an hour and a half in the hairdressers getting the hair ready. Home to that essential breakfast of Bacon Sandwiches and Bucks Fizz.
So after many hours of hair, eyelash extensions (These are so cool if you want to know who did mine message me) and then make up courtesy of my dear friend Dawn. We finally set off to the Church and as soon as we got there the nerves hit big time. Walking into Church seeing all our friends, some who had travelled a long way to be there, that did it I cried. In fact I blubbed and snotted my way through the entire service. But we also had moments of laughter and ensured the service was beautiful and memorable.
So after photos we made our way to the reception to be met with more bucks fizz (I can so get a taste for these) this is the chance we had to relax chat with friends and just enjoy ourselves. The relaxed vibe carried on all evening and we partied and danced and ate and drank and a great time was had by all. It was one of those days you didn't want to end. But it came to an end and a group of us who were staying at the hotel sat and chatted after everyone had gone. I even got my hair unpinned by 2 friends and a foot massage by a third friend. A very dear friend also gave me a beautiful photo of David Coverdale (Lead singer of Whitesnake) cue the tears again. I shall treasure it always, so after an incredibly stressful and sad year the day was everything we could have wished for and more.
The good memories of last week are still with me and will remain with me for a long time to come and I end this post with words I used to end my speech with last week told to me by a wise and dear friend.
"Dont Cry because it's over, Smile because it happened" Dr Seuss
Well we finally made it after a year of planning and 9 months of dieting we got to our vow renewal day. The sun shone the reception was packed and I wasn't wearing a meringue.
We kicked off the weekend on the Friday where good friends helped us decorate the reception then out for a yummy meal at Coal. If you like your steaks mooing then this is the place to go. Despite the fact we hadn't seen each other for a year. The conversation never lapsed and the usual hilarity was in full force.
So after a lovely meal home to bed feeling stuffed and tired. 2 hours of sleep and I am wide awake the nerves in force and my brain going like the Duracell bunny on red bull. So I hit the sofa and watched a clockwork orange trust me after only 2 hours sleep I knew how Malcolm McDowell felt in the aversion therapy scene.
So finally at 6.15 I gave up trying to sleep and had a bath instead. The morning was spent in preparations grabbing the flowers for the reception moving guitars to the Church and then finally for myself and Bear an hour and a half in the hairdressers getting the hair ready. Home to that essential breakfast of Bacon Sandwiches and Bucks Fizz.
So after many hours of hair, eyelash extensions (These are so cool if you want to know who did mine message me) and then make up courtesy of my dear friend Dawn. We finally set off to the Church and as soon as we got there the nerves hit big time. Walking into Church seeing all our friends, some who had travelled a long way to be there, that did it I cried. In fact I blubbed and snotted my way through the entire service. But we also had moments of laughter and ensured the service was beautiful and memorable.
So after photos we made our way to the reception to be met with more bucks fizz (I can so get a taste for these) this is the chance we had to relax chat with friends and just enjoy ourselves. The relaxed vibe carried on all evening and we partied and danced and ate and drank and a great time was had by all. It was one of those days you didn't want to end. But it came to an end and a group of us who were staying at the hotel sat and chatted after everyone had gone. I even got my hair unpinned by 2 friends and a foot massage by a third friend. A very dear friend also gave me a beautiful photo of David Coverdale (Lead singer of Whitesnake) cue the tears again. I shall treasure it always, so after an incredibly stressful and sad year the day was everything we could have wished for and more.
The good memories of last week are still with me and will remain with me for a long time to come and I end this post with words I used to end my speech with last week told to me by a wise and dear friend.
"Dont Cry because it's over, Smile because it happened" Dr Seuss
Monday, 17 September 2012
Just a dress???? No much more than that.
So here we are 9 months on nearly 6 stone lighter and as I sit here and type I can see my dress hanging on the door frame.
When I started this diet back in January I had one goal buy a dress that isn't a meringue and doesn't make my butt look huge (Yep I know tall order for a dress) And I have it. It's so beautiful a lump comes up in my throat when I look at it.
And the biggest miracle is that when I wear it I look pretty and I have a waist line, Ok thanks to Dawn and a Corset and a lot of tugging but it's there. For the first time in 44 years I think I look pretty.
I've never considered myself pretty I don't think i'm hideously ugly but pretty no not really. But in my new dress I do and I hope on Saturday week when I walk in Church people will think so too. Being big does eat at your confidence, you can try and be kind and nice to people but always in your mind you are wondering if they are laughing at you and how you look. My good friends no i don't think that of them. But people you first meet there is that doubt and unfortunately over the years I have been proven right.
But not now I have proven over the last few months that I can have willpower and I can lose weight and for the first time in a very long time I like how I look. So my thanks today have to be to Dawn who was invaluable today and I am so grateful. And to Slimming World thank you for helping me realise what I can do.
Laters.........X X
When I started this diet back in January I had one goal buy a dress that isn't a meringue and doesn't make my butt look huge (Yep I know tall order for a dress) And I have it. It's so beautiful a lump comes up in my throat when I look at it.
And the biggest miracle is that when I wear it I look pretty and I have a waist line, Ok thanks to Dawn and a Corset and a lot of tugging but it's there. For the first time in 44 years I think I look pretty.
I've never considered myself pretty I don't think i'm hideously ugly but pretty no not really. But in my new dress I do and I hope on Saturday week when I walk in Church people will think so too. Being big does eat at your confidence, you can try and be kind and nice to people but always in your mind you are wondering if they are laughing at you and how you look. My good friends no i don't think that of them. But people you first meet there is that doubt and unfortunately over the years I have been proven right.
But not now I have proven over the last few months that I can have willpower and I can lose weight and for the first time in a very long time I like how I look. So my thanks today have to be to Dawn who was invaluable today and I am so grateful. And to Slimming World thank you for helping me realise what I can do.
Laters.........X X
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Are we nearly there yet?????????
Not far now
Ok a popular refrain held on many a car journey with the kids. But in this case our vow renewal or more to the point my dress.
I started this Blog back in January with the intention of documenting my weight loss journey. And I did for the most part, but then Ian's illness got picked up on here and a whole slew of other things.
My sole aim for this year was to lose weight and I've done it. Well I've nearly done it 5 stone and 3 lbs lost or if you are american 73 lbs (Don't you just love it when it looks so much) and yesterday was the culmination of 6 months of dieting. I got my dress!!!!!
And guess what ........come on have a guess..........
IT'S NOT A MERINGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's not a slinky number that shows off every bump and lump (And boy I still have a few of those) but it's beautiful with a fair amount of swish in the skirts. So going for the fitting I take my good friend Dawn with me, a lovely lady who I can rely on to be brutally honest with me. Her first task of the day is to lace me into my Corset. A task she undertook with a great deal of enthusiasm and vigour. I still managed to breathe but only just. The effect was mega and hey I got a waistline, almost wanted to take a photo, almost...........but I didn't there is only so much of me that should be photographed.
So I have it and the dress is beautiful and dare I say it when I'm all made up with my hair done, dress on there is the vaguest chance Chris won't run screaming from the church. And that's the other thing my gorgeous hubby who has also lost nearly 5 stone. That was unexpected and he is delighted and I'm proud to say I fancy my gorgeous hubby rotten.
But the journey still carries on I want 10 stone off by christmas and with will power and SW behind me I will do my best to get there. So ladies and gentleman let's all raise a glass to a dress that isn't a meringue :-)
laters...........X X X
Ok a popular refrain held on many a car journey with the kids. But in this case our vow renewal or more to the point my dress.
I started this Blog back in January with the intention of documenting my weight loss journey. And I did for the most part, but then Ian's illness got picked up on here and a whole slew of other things.
My sole aim for this year was to lose weight and I've done it. Well I've nearly done it 5 stone and 3 lbs lost or if you are american 73 lbs (Don't you just love it when it looks so much) and yesterday was the culmination of 6 months of dieting. I got my dress!!!!!
And guess what ........come on have a guess..........
IT'S NOT A MERINGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's not a slinky number that shows off every bump and lump (And boy I still have a few of those) but it's beautiful with a fair amount of swish in the skirts. So going for the fitting I take my good friend Dawn with me, a lovely lady who I can rely on to be brutally honest with me. Her first task of the day is to lace me into my Corset. A task she undertook with a great deal of enthusiasm and vigour. I still managed to breathe but only just. The effect was mega and hey I got a waistline, almost wanted to take a photo, almost...........but I didn't there is only so much of me that should be photographed.
So I have it and the dress is beautiful and dare I say it when I'm all made up with my hair done, dress on there is the vaguest chance Chris won't run screaming from the church. And that's the other thing my gorgeous hubby who has also lost nearly 5 stone. That was unexpected and he is delighted and I'm proud to say I fancy my gorgeous hubby rotten.
But the journey still carries on I want 10 stone off by christmas and with will power and SW behind me I will do my best to get there. So ladies and gentleman let's all raise a glass to a dress that isn't a meringue :-)
laters...........X X X
Friday, 13 July 2012
I asked God, "How much do you love me?"
He said "This much. " then he streched out his arms and died.
There you have it the fundamental belief on which I base my faith. That Jesus loved me enough to die for me.
I realise that discussing religion is at best fraught with danger and can be risky. But this is not out to annoy people this is just me putting down what is rattling about my brain.
We live in a multi cultural and multi faith society and (If you ignore the extremists) we coexist very happily for the most part. I became a Christian 27 years ago, I was helping at a Holiday Cub near where I live which was run by the local churches. I got involved simply for something to do as I enjoyed working with children. It was there I heard the message of God's love for me and it was that week I committed myself to God. I joined a Church later that year and 26 years on am still there. The people inside it have become more than friends we are a family and we love and care for each other like a family should.
However over the last 26 years I have seen many changes amongst great change we saw ladies being ordained as Vicars. The more traditional churches viewed this with vehement opposition. We now have the discussion over whether Women should be ordained as Bishops. My belief is that this won't happen as the traditionalists could not face up to there being a woman one day as being Archbishop and therefore in charge of the Church of England.
I try my hardest not to ram my faith and my beliefs down people's throats yes lots of people know I'm a Christian and that I go to Church and if they ask me then yes i'll talk about it. But I have many friends of different faiths and beliefs and thats great I love differing opinions on different matters. That's what make life and relationships interesting and exciting.
But views on women being ordained vary and I have over the last few years had to sit through men telling me that they are in charge and as women we should follow. I have seen my opinion being discounted simply because I am a woman. This makes me furious discount my opinion because its not right or you don't like it but don't do it simply because of my gender.
The Church must evolve if it is to survive that's not to say we lose all the values we hold dear but we have to start looking at the Church's role within a changing community. Jesus charged us with the job of going out and telling others about him this can be done by both men and women.
And for me after 26 years this might be time to have a change.
Laters......X X X
There you have it the fundamental belief on which I base my faith. That Jesus loved me enough to die for me.
I realise that discussing religion is at best fraught with danger and can be risky. But this is not out to annoy people this is just me putting down what is rattling about my brain.
We live in a multi cultural and multi faith society and (If you ignore the extremists) we coexist very happily for the most part. I became a Christian 27 years ago, I was helping at a Holiday Cub near where I live which was run by the local churches. I got involved simply for something to do as I enjoyed working with children. It was there I heard the message of God's love for me and it was that week I committed myself to God. I joined a Church later that year and 26 years on am still there. The people inside it have become more than friends we are a family and we love and care for each other like a family should.
However over the last 26 years I have seen many changes amongst great change we saw ladies being ordained as Vicars. The more traditional churches viewed this with vehement opposition. We now have the discussion over whether Women should be ordained as Bishops. My belief is that this won't happen as the traditionalists could not face up to there being a woman one day as being Archbishop and therefore in charge of the Church of England.
I try my hardest not to ram my faith and my beliefs down people's throats yes lots of people know I'm a Christian and that I go to Church and if they ask me then yes i'll talk about it. But I have many friends of different faiths and beliefs and thats great I love differing opinions on different matters. That's what make life and relationships interesting and exciting.
But views on women being ordained vary and I have over the last few years had to sit through men telling me that they are in charge and as women we should follow. I have seen my opinion being discounted simply because I am a woman. This makes me furious discount my opinion because its not right or you don't like it but don't do it simply because of my gender.
The Church must evolve if it is to survive that's not to say we lose all the values we hold dear but we have to start looking at the Church's role within a changing community. Jesus charged us with the job of going out and telling others about him this can be done by both men and women.
And for me after 26 years this might be time to have a change.
Laters......X X X
Friday, 15 June 2012
"Never eat more than you can lift."
A quote from the true diva of all Miss Piggy.
My blogs of late have been about Ian so for today this one isn't this is about my diet. It seems amazing that after 6 months I am nearly half way there to target. Back in January I optimistically set my target at 10 stone to lose. I never thought in a million years I would get there that it was just too much.
A few years ago I would have given up or written it off as a bad loss. But not now this last year has shown me that there is love and beauty in this world and I so want to be a part of it all. I have also seen selfish greed dictate the actions of people. Their only thought is to how to better there own advantage, I can live with that one day it will come back to kick them in the backside.
So here we are 4 1/2 stone down and 5 1/2 stone to go before I am at target. I won't get there by September but I will be on my way. It has at times been tough and i've been badly tempted and on 2 occasions I did gain weight. But that's ok because the next week I pulled it back and lost the weight i'd gained.
It comes down to a simple question. What do I want more? Well for me that's easy I don't want a big meringue dress. I want something pretty and i've found it now I just need to fit into it without looking like i'm going to erupt out of it.
So to my fellow SW buddies Dawn, Dia, Linda, Faye, Spev and Sue don't give up keep at it and we will all reap the rewards. I was told yesterday that I was an inspiration to a friend. Something that thrilled me so much. Ladies you are my inspiration and you push me to go so much further.
So my lovely friends have a great weekend and I leave you with a photo of what I need to work towards.
My blogs of late have been about Ian so for today this one isn't this is about my diet. It seems amazing that after 6 months I am nearly half way there to target. Back in January I optimistically set my target at 10 stone to lose. I never thought in a million years I would get there that it was just too much.
A few years ago I would have given up or written it off as a bad loss. But not now this last year has shown me that there is love and beauty in this world and I so want to be a part of it all. I have also seen selfish greed dictate the actions of people. Their only thought is to how to better there own advantage, I can live with that one day it will come back to kick them in the backside.
So here we are 4 1/2 stone down and 5 1/2 stone to go before I am at target. I won't get there by September but I will be on my way. It has at times been tough and i've been badly tempted and on 2 occasions I did gain weight. But that's ok because the next week I pulled it back and lost the weight i'd gained.
It comes down to a simple question. What do I want more? Well for me that's easy I don't want a big meringue dress. I want something pretty and i've found it now I just need to fit into it without looking like i'm going to erupt out of it.
So to my fellow SW buddies Dawn, Dia, Linda, Faye, Spev and Sue don't give up keep at it and we will all reap the rewards. I was told yesterday that I was an inspiration to a friend. Something that thrilled me so much. Ladies you are my inspiration and you push me to go so much further.
So my lovely friends have a great weekend and I leave you with a photo of what I need to work towards.
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